World’s Largest Democracy Goes to Vote

04/29/2014

Here are the gems contesting elections shinning bright and making us proud on the international stage today and if declared winners then for next five years. Let us refresh our memory because we desis have very short memory and suffer from euphoric amnesia and long term cribbing disorder.

 Drum Roll

Meet Mr. Onkar Singh Thapar: Shiromani Akali Dal

This 59 year old Vice President of Shiromani Akali Dal Functionary broke in the middle of a speech on the ‘democratic right to protest’ to admonish his wife for absently tapping the table: Tenu pata hai jad mai bol rehan haan, bhen***d thaa-thaa maari jaandi hai (You can see I am speaking but you SF keep making that infernal noise). When cornered, Thapar told India Today, “Show me any man who has never abused his naukraani (domestic) or his janani (wife)?” Great logic sir. You have rightly defended the great desi/punjabi culture.

Not sure if he is running for 2014 elections.

Mr. Bikram Singh Majithia: Shiromani Akali Dal
Has the honor of cussing in the house during the session, he too has a justification for his choice of words and more than that he too claimed his words were taken out of context.

3 Idiots of Porngate

Porngate refers to three sitting MLAs of BJP  Lakshman Savadi, C.C. Patil and Krishna Palemar were watching a porn video while the session was in progress. In their justification states they claim were watching a video of rape of a woman by four men to educate themselves in order to raise a question at a later hour.

This video is in Kanada but the information section has details in English

Laxman Savadi, won 2013 elections from Athani constituency with a margin of 24,879 votes that is one third of the total, really women were sleeping during the elections. This is how good our memory is.

Oh then there is Gurjrat porngate and stalkgate

Sanjay Nirupam Indian National Congress

Has an honorary Ph.D. for what have no idea, though DG spent 8 years slogging in libraries and field. This scum of earth was congress created Shiv Sena crony became congress candidate. On a media penal discussion when he was losing the to a female politician who happened to be a TV actress too he called her dancing girl watch it for yourself. His masters just chided him no disciplinary action was taken by secular people.

Asha Mirje Nationalist Congress Party and Member of State Women’s Commission  According to her “Rapes take place also because of a woman’s clothes, her behaviour and her presence at inappropriate places.” 

Her party member Supriya Sule immediately released a statement how she and her party did not agree with Mirje’s remarks.

Abhijit Mukherji Indian National Congress and Son of President of India

Called the women protesters dented painted unworthy of registering protest against sexual crimes against women. Though his sister came running to apologize for him.

Saved the best for the last

Mulayam Singh Yadav Samajwadi Party

Is the Messiah of rapist considers rape is a mistake boys make.

Abu Azmi Samajwadi Party

He is a sitting MLA was just following the foot steps of his master, said, women who have sex outside wedlock should be hanged. Wao, he’ll bring sharia law to Hindustan. Guess, he really respects Indian constitution’s claim to equality and its citizens especially women.

His daughter-in-law expressed her disgust on his remarks.

 

Sharad Yadav Janta Dal

Supports khaps and believes stalking women is fun activity he had men his generation undertook.

Abhishek Manu Singhavi Indian National Congress

Caught with his pants down at work

Time to wind up it is two past midnight. Readers are requested to add to this list and beat the drum. If the voters especially fail to wake up now then they should not complain for next five years just get ready to roll with the punches.

Person is judged by the company he/she keeps. Choose you allies carefully.

Good Night