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Desi Parents: What Do You Know About Your Single 30 Something?

19 Jul

Desi Parents: What Do You Know About Your Single 30 Something?

The previous post opened a can of worms for Desi Girl. She received few responses on the blog and many private emails. GGTS has been discussing about lives and the issues facing highly educated and significantly employed desi women. The comment by @anjugandhi made DG think about the purpose of the said post.

She writes:

…I do admit that we should be clear and firm in our thoughts as to what we want

but before taking any step a slight consideration for the feelings of parents will go long way in re supporting the hopes and dreams of parents.

 

I do not know who she is referring to, male children or female children. I am assuming as a parent she had both teem boys and girls in her mind. I wonder would the same standards apply to adult men and women. Do men care for feelings of their parents when they make passes on women, ogle at women or even when they rape them. The guy from the message board in the previous post is he thinking about his parents or just his libido? All those men who frequent the red light areas do they ever think about their parents? Do parents even have any standards and feeling about their sons’ sexuality or it is just on loose. Is it only for women to think about parents, family and culture? Why do they have to shoulder the honor of families and communities? Because they are the mothers. Then what about fathers? One sperm is enough to claim paternity and natural guardianship but not to save the culture by their own sexual conduct. I wanted to do a whole post on loco parentis and in-loco parents but I’ll save it for some other time.

 The following poem (if it is one) is contributed by my dear friend S. S. She reserves the copy right to this piece.  It is dedicated to our friends who face these dilemmas everyday. 

 Desi Parents: What Do You Know About Your Single 30 Something?

Desi parents,

 What do you know about your single 30 something?

Your 30 something daughter

The daughter, you raised

 With dreams of her happily ever after future.

The daughter, you raised

Indoctrinating, strive for happily ever after.

What do you know about your single 30 something?

 

Desi parents,

 What do you know about your single 30 something?

She believed in your dreams

The dreams of prince charming,

The knight in shinning armor,

The happily ever afters…

 What do you know about your single 30 something?

 

 

For Su

 

She has met her prince charming,

He doesn’t meet your standards

Of caste, religion, region or what not…

You make her choose between you

and her prince charming.

She picks you. 

Your single 30 something is hurt

At least you are happy.

 

Desi parents,

 What do you know about your single 30 something?

The prince charming you

Bought her

Hasn’t touched her in years

And every one is asking

Why she is averse to motherhood.

Is it her eggs or her womb?

Did you bother to think, it could be him?

What do you know about your single 30 something?

 

At 39 she is single again,

Learning to live again,

Feel again.

Your eyes probe her

When she comes home late,

Be assured she has not yet

Slept with anyone.

She wants to but she can’t.

She has no skills to approach

Anyone she likes

She is scared and is still hurting.

What do you know about your single 30 something?

 

For Amu & T

 

Desi parents,

 What do you know about your single 30 something?

She tossed and turned

Every night on bed in a hope…

While the prince charming

You bought her, snoozed.

 Those tricks,

She picked from the sleazy porno

He showed her

In those early days.

Didn’t work either.

How could it?

He was cheating with his ex girlfriend.

His parents rejected to

Serve her (Amu/T) on the platter.

How dare you ask her?

What did she do to turn him off?

What do you know about your single 30 something?

 

Desi parents,

What do you know about your single 30 something?

How she went to court by herself.

Ten people work under her.

She pays her bills and taxes.

Why do you have to chaperon?

You know why?

Be assured she won’t

Your guilt has worked overtime.

She knows the Desi culture

Rests on her tired shoulders.

What do you know about your single 30 something?

 

For Pre

 

Desi parents,

 What do you know about your single 30 something?

You say I am jealous of my sister,

Her good marriage.

How lame, I want to protect her.

Her good hubby said to me

He understands my pain and

Could help me know what sex is…

Are you ready to digest this?

Can I complain?

You will accuse me because

 I am the 30 something virgin.

What do you know about your single 30 something?

 

For  SP

 

Desi parents,

 What do you know about your single 30 something?

The days my child is with him, (shares child custody with ex)

I go on dates.

I meet them in bars.

We sit and chat.

We meet again.

He puts his hand on my knee.

I suck my breath and

Leave, saying I’ll call.

I never do. I want to

But I never do.

I hate it but what do I do?

I have a child and guilt to nurse.

What do you know about your single 30 something?

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