Life is Between Why Me? Why Not Me?

Life is Between Why Me? Why Not Me?


While she lay on floor writhing in pain wanting to ask someone “why me?” as  if all that pain of broken bones and personal hurt wasn’t enough that she needed one more blow the phone in her pocket rang. Like a contortionists under training she maneuvered to reach the wretched thing. Distracted from her pain she heard El sobbing on the other side; some time ago she was unceremoniously dumped after a yearlong tango of missed steps. He had a text-book explanation; it is not about you it is about me I am not the right person for you. I want you happy I cannot offer you more than I all have already given you. You deserve better I am not ready for a commitment and family life for another few years. I deeply feel for you but I have to do it for both of us. It was sudden there was no break up dance, division of stuff or returning of gifts, it was swift Ta-ta bye-bye. Forgetting her pain she strained her ears to hear what El said between the sobs, all she could hear was “why not me?”
After a bit of long distance sobbing El divulged he was getting married to the woman he had broken up with before he met her. They were expecting and were seen at the wedding registry by our common friends. What hurt more him getting married or the news coming from distant corners? Everything was muddled up in those sobs and “why not me?” Little patience and probing explained the “why not me?” as “he wanted all those things that I wanted but he did not want them with me. “ As if it was a child’s play, let us play house but now I don’t want to play house with you leaving one lost and wondering “why not me?”  Did we ever grow up or our hearts froze in time while our bodies and minds sprinted with our years.
May be it is true pain is an antidote for pain. She forgot her pain seeing her friend in pain. All she could do was wonder, if life is just limited to two questions, when hurt “why me?” and when rejected “why not me?”
What is more painful the gashes left by the shards of a broken dream(s) or the reminiscences of all that remained unsaid or all that would never happen?

PS: DG’s attempt to rant everyday has failed miserably due to reasons beyond her and some within her; will try to be more regular.

One Response to “Life is Between Why Me? Why Not Me?”

  1. Julia July 15, 2012 at p07 #

    Do all men use this excuse when they break up with a woman?

    Na, not all. Some just vanish from the face of near earth (that is desi style) and others just do the break up dance. I guess this explanation kind would have watched Oprah.
    That God forsaken now ex, said he filed for divorce for DG’s good as she deserved better. May be he was right. Never been more at peace.

    Like this

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

My life and everything that touches it....


media | politics | dissent


मेरे विचारो का

समाजवादी जनपरिषद

वैश्वीकरण विरोध हेतु

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

A Desi Girl's Guide to Relationship Survival

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

W.S.S.A @ UWindsor

Women's Studies Student Association @ University of Windsor, Ontario

संजीव तिवारी . . Sanjeeva Tiwari .. Chhattisgarh

हमको मालूम है जन्नत की हकीक़त लेकिन, दिल को खुश रखने को ग़ालिब ये ख़याल अच्छा है

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

Beyond The Second Sex (स्त्रीविमर्श)

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

नारी , NAARI

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.


Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

Zerqa Abid

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

Sex And The Indian Cities

love, friendship and life in the Indian cities




Chronicles of Less Urban Living, Fresh from In the Night Farm

आराधना का ब्लॉग

'अहमस्मि'- अपनी खोज में


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 308 other followers

%d bloggers like this: