Your Rights in A Relationship
To be able to express your views without the fear of negative repercussions even if they are different than others. You have right to your thoughts.
You can express your differences without fear. You can decide I will not do ______, I will wear______, I will meet ______ because you feel it is right.
You can expect to receive clear answers to the questions that are your legitimate concern.
The right to live free of fear, criticism, accusation, blame , threats, judgment and unsolicited advice.
The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage. You are not responsible for another person’s behavior.
The right to end the relationship without fear.
The right to be free from unsolicited phone calls, stalking and nasty rumors about you. You can seek protection from law.
You are an adult and are able to make your decisions.
A Desi Girl's Guide to Relationship Survival 
I thought I was alone in my sinking boat, now I don’t feel alone. We live in a western society, my husband is a university graduate but he is indian. I have come to believe that it’s in the Indian DNA to disrespect, dominate and take your wife for granted. He never stands up for me, no matter what the inlaws say to me or my kids. I have been married 17yrs, I kept quiet all this time….I feel I’m going mad….I can’t write my whole story….tooooo long.
@firdous,
Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
Yes, desi men are brought up with uncut umbilical chords so as to make them spineless squids. Also, desi marriage is an arrangement to get sons regular access to sex and his parents caretaker for old age. Where as, young women get roof over their heads, a married name and regular sex and protection from other predatory men.
Do journal your story so that it is out of your system and you can begin to heal.
Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
Peace,
Desi Girl
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Hi..
I am really impressed by your articles and especially in depth information and facts you have covered. Everybody goes through emotional ups and downs. I have gone through various articles.
I would appreciate if you can share your thoughts over “Expectations”. Please cover this – What should we do, if we are not getting respect and consideration from a family member, even after doing so much for them.
If you have shared anywhere please post the link else i would really love to hear from you over this topic and this particular instance.
@vinikablogsite,
Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
Early on I learned, “Great expectations lead to great disappointments,” so tried to keep them to the minimum but in intimate relationships/marriage mutual expectations of love, care, comfort and support are natural but weak personal boundaries make it difficult.
There are so many posts and comments DG has dealt with boundaries and expectations don’t recall you’ll have to browse. Please join DG on FB she posts her views their more often than GGTS.
Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
Peace,
DG
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shared this on fb !..
OK
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wow wow wow.. this is so beautiful, I wish it was practiced enough. The world would be overnight beautiful. Most of the worlds’ relationship problems with just disappear
Utopia. There is so much fun stepping on each others’ toes who wants to practice is hard task. 🙂
DG
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Congratulations 🙂 This post in one of the winners of ‘Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards – 2011’ (TRBA 2011). We would like to create an ebook with all the winning entries in 47 categories on Feminism and Gender Issues in India (and one category on Animals Rights). Please do let us know if you are fine with your winning post/s being included in this ebook. ( Please click here to let us know).
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Love
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Hi Desi Girl,
I am looking for an indian origin counselor based out of NJ / NYC to assist a close friend in depression and cope with break-up from bad relationship. I am not sure if you are available or based in NJ / NYC area, or can provide any referral. I found couple of indian origin counselors online but neither have responded back and / or have invalid phone numbers. I am really hoping you can help! We really need it soon!. My email id is available to you via this message, so hope to hear from you.
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hai how r you ?
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i honestly enjoy your own posting type, very exciting,
don’t give up and keep writing for the reason that it simply just truly worth to look through it,
impatient to browse a whole lot more of your own content pieces, enjoy your day 🙂
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Vinita,
It is the same I use to ask my friends how do people become so different then when I was in similar situation I wondered how indifferent my partner became towards me. But I learned you can only change how you feel not what and how others do. My motto is a pint cannot contain a quart.
When our partner takes us for granted and after a long time we wake up to resist it his/her attempts are to create so much crisis and hardship for us that we will revert to the status quo.So the key is to get through this crisis like a grown up. Our giving into partner’s unjust demands gives him contradictory message. His/her twisting our arm (creating emotional crisis, physical or financial hardship)and our giving in teaches him if I create a crisis she’ll give me what I want. So if you feel strongly about some behavior say it firmly and stick to your guns. If you survive the arm twisting once it will give you a lot of confidence. This should not be one time thing. You have to be consistent in doing so.
Say it a loud “we are grown ups and we should deal with this as grown ups. Stop throwing a tantrum. Talk to me if something is bothering you. My economic dependence on you does not make me a lesser being.”
“I feel_(as if my opinion doesn’t matter/I am no one etc.) when you do XXX. Focus on how you feel. Work on healing yourself. You are the best gift you can give yourself. Before anyone else can love you you have to love and respect your self.
Please let us know what kind of information would you like on this forum and would you please recommend this forum to your friends.
Have a happy day.
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These tips will really help me survive and keep my head held high , at least for the time being , till then I will learn to accept the truth about the relationships and take them on the same way
tell me , why do we hurt the people we love and then kill the love we once had for each other by suffocating why can’t we accept each otehr as we are , is it really necessary to be perfect ?
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