About This Blog


This work is rooted in the values of collective survival, healing one soul one day at a time.


Recognize together we can change our lives


Refuse to be part of any discriminatory behaviors and politics


Resist stereotypes to build  positive experiences


To unite individuals, communities and resources to build healthy and happy communities, foster friendships and support sustainable life styles.


This blog is one person’s reclamation journey. Her friends who share similar life stories appear in the narratives when ever they grant permission. Readers are responsible for using inormation at their own risk.


Desi Girl retains the copy right to all the material on this blog if otherwise stated. Comments belong to comment writers. Please contact individual comment writers to use quote their comments.

You may not copy any material without permission.

Don’t copy my story create your own unique story. 🙂


Desi Girl

22 Responses to “About This Blog”

  1. Sev April 7, 2015 at p04 #

    Very interesting blog, thank you for writing!
    In am a French national married to an Indian, and we have a little girl. Your insight on Indian society is very useful to me 🙂
    As a feminist I believe that women should have their word to say, but Indian society is very different from French society, and it is intersting to me to understand the evolution of the Indian way of thinking on this topic.

    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
    Yes, Indian society is deeply entrenched in patriarchy.
    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Desi Girl


  2. In Pursuit of Rainbow November 26, 2014 at p11 #

    Hello DG.
    Your blog is amazing!!

    @In Pursuit of Rainbow,
    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Keep coming back 🙂


    • M July 3, 2016 at p07 #

      hello DG .. i cant find yr mail address .. plz can u share this so i can send u a mail ? thx

      Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
      Hope things are good with you. Are you safe? The id was in one of the comments in “Dealing with in-laws” page.
      Here it is girlsguidetosurvival at gmail dot come for you.
      Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
      Desi Girl


  3. Sumana Kasturi June 3, 2014 at p06 #

    Dear DG,
    I am a reader of your blog. I found it through clicking some comments on IHM and became very interested in your writing and unique approach to gender issues. I am a doctoral student of media studies and my research interest is on blogs written by Indian women and the community they build through these blogs.
    Your blog and other similar ones create safe spaces for women (and men) to discuss issues that mainstream media either ignores, or spins in its own way.

    My request is this: Would you be willing to talk to me (through email) about why you blog, and what blogging means to you? I have a set of questions that I would like to send you if it acceptable to you. I do hope you will be able to grant my request. My email ID is included in the details.

    @Sumana Kasturi,
    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
    That is interesting, another student from TISS recently did a similar study. Yes, DG will be more than willing to help. She’ll send you a personal email.
    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Desi Girl


    • Sumana Kasturi June 5, 2014 at p06 #

      Thank you!


  4. Santulan May 1, 2014 at p05 #

    Just dropping by to say hi


    • girlsguidetosurvival May 1, 2014 at p05 #

      Hey Hey!
      Welcome back to GGTS, a safe space.
      Appreciate your coming back just to say hi!
      How have you been? Any new cooking projects?


  5. madhmama November 29, 2013 at p11 #

    Just wanted to let you know your blog is one of my faves!

    Thank you, you are very kind.
    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Desi Girl


  6. Haresh Patel July 4, 2012 at p07 #

    Hi DG,

    They say there are things which cannot be measured by any parameters. Your pieces of advice are some of them 🙂

    I am amazed at the level of maturity your posts show. I’m glad to see how your posts – and your pieces of advice/counselling – help break complex/difficult-looking problems into smaller bits that can be acknowledged and worked upon.

    When I first emailed you, I didn’t know that your advice would prove to be so helpful. It’s your ability to read problems, to analyze root-causes of problems, to understand psychology and to generate trust that make your counselling so effective.

    I am glad that I came across with someone so understanding and sensitive yet so disciplined. I never hesitated in sharing with you all the issues that I had been dealing with.

    Our exchanges of mails and your personalized advice were all that changed everything. You helped me realize what the real problems were. You helped me realize how the problems were actually different than those I had thought (or rather, imagined). You showed how my approach in dealing with my problems was more likely to do more harm than good as you could analyze the real simple causes of an apparent complex set of problems.

    I was trying, though not hard enough, to come out of the mess I was in. But, after your counselling, I realized that all my efforts weren’t in the direction I should. I needed to change my perspective of looking at things, at issues, at people, and above all, at myself.

    It wasn’t that no one had ever suggested me any steps. But, it was your level of expertise in counselling and my belief in the same which ensured that I tried to follow your suggestions. I’m glad that I’ve been able to solved issues that I’d been dealing with since long. I’m glad that I know myself better now.

    I’ve absolutely loved all the posts of yours that I’ve read and I now know that it’s not impossible to come out of mental/psychological problems that we sometimes find to hard to come out of. If you start understanding the problems, realizing them, accepting them and sincerely try to come out of the same, you’ll be amazed to see how fast you can recover.

    Thanks DG for being there. I’m happy that I came in touch with you. I know what your counselling meant to me. I’ll always be obliged to you for the same 🙂


  7. sarika May 22, 2012 at p05 #

    How are u .i have been reading your posts.I appreciate your thoughts and your brains which are definitely on the best track.Ofcourse people who have lost it will fear to read your blogs….
    I was a bit worried for you after reading what you are going thru and great courage you have shown to write about your self finally.How are u now?



    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.

    …people who have lost it will fear to read your blogs….


    Thanks for asking DG is doing much better, it is a long road to practice restrain in attachments to people, places and things… The consolation is to know DG is not the first and she won’t be the last, many before her have been there and many after will go through their own trails…

    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Desi Girl


  8. bunkababz June 14, 2011 at p06 #

    Love the blog ! Please do check us out !

    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
    Sure, will visit your blog at leisure.
    Please share this message with anyone who may benefit.
    Desi Girl


  9. Sushant December 22, 2010 at p12 #

    Hi there,

    Since there’s no direct email address to contact you, I had to communicate with you via your comment section. Hope you don’t find it weired 🙂

    Hope you’re doing well.

    My name is Sushant and I am the owner of Bogus Blogging. I came to know about your blog from IndiBlogger community.
    You can view my public profile on IndiBlogger here http://www.indiblogger.in/blogger/30298/

    I’m basically an Internet Entrepreneur and a casual amateurish blogger.

    The purpose of this email is to explain you a blogging technique which will help both of us drive traffic to our respective blog with mutual co-operation.

    Here’s what my ideas are:
    Currently, I’m working on a blogging technique known as Social Blogging which involves a group of similar bloggers working in tandem to promote their respective blogs on Social Web i.e Twitter and Facebook. Whilst conventional blogging requires a blogger to wait until eternity to drive traffic and promote their blogs across their potential audience, Social Blogging helps them to achieve their targeted traffic in a relatively easier fashion.

    I’d like to share more on this. But, first I’d like to know if you’re ready promote your blog socially to get more traffic.

    Kindly, let me know your thoughts,


  10. aparna December 17, 2010 at p12 #

    Dear Desigirl,
    I’ve been reading all your posts with great interest and also following your advice over at many posts on IHM’s blog. You are one courageous AND empathetic woman – and one doesn’t always find both these together. Given your interest in women’s issues and supporting women, I would appreciate it so much if you could have a look at this contest – http://www.womensweb.in/item/the-great-adjustment-story.html – on the expectations from women to “adjust”. Hope you can participate and/or mention it on your blog for other interested readers.

    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
    Desi Girl is encouraged to learn she could help. She will definitely check that link.

    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Desi Girl


  11. Harassed Sister in Law September 9, 2010 at p09 #


    I have been reading your blog and I must say it is very healing and helpful. However most of your blog talks about bad in laws. What about bad daughter in laws…….

    My brother had an arranged marriage 3 years ago..the girl turned out to be completely different than what we expected…the picture her family painted before marriage turned to be the opposite after marriage. My family is detroyed and our realtionship with my brother is in shambles…..

    I feel guilty for leaving my parents alone and unhappy because my brother has become distant..don’t know what to do….


    • girlsguidetosurvival September 9, 2010 at p09 #

      Dear Harassed SIL,

      Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
      Desi Girl is glad you find healing in this safe space. She makes a conscious effort to present a factual picture of desi relationships and the root cause that is systemic than individual. Here are few posts that mention about indivudual responsibility of each person in the familial relationship and reasons for their contrary behavior.

      Desi Son: Obligated to Take Care of Mother

      Desi Mothers-in-law

      Desi Girl is sad to know one ignorant wife is hell bent on destroying not only the relationship but happiness too. Always remember unhappy people make people unhappy. Her unhappiness is rooted in her insecure upbringing and low self esteem (it is like tiny porcupine raises her thorns to appear big). There is evident lack of boundaries in this relationship your brother is not able to communicate what he needs in this relationship. Respect my parents, visit them etc. are very vague expectations. He should mark his needs clearly and has to give equal importance to his wife’s needs such as – I want us to visit my parents on X holiday and we will visit your folks on X holiday. I want to call my parents on weekends. I want to invite them on X occassion and we’ll invite your folks too or what ever. Working on his relationship with his wife will help. You and your parents may feel isolated during this time but that is the only way through it for now…

      Desi Girl would suggest the couple seek couple’s counselling. If one of the partner refuses then at least the willing partner should go ahead for their own peace. You don’t need to be guilty, please support your brother and let him know you love him and understand that he is going through some hard times in his relatively new marriage. The state of his marriage should not change your relationship. He is not only hurt but is also feeling guilty and doesn’t know what to do so he is keeping aloof. This is how abuse works, isolating the victim.

      Arranged or love marriages for this reason Desi Girl says couple’s and families should work on knowing each other instead of spending time and money in pomp and show. You and your parents can seek few sessions of counseling too as it will help you guys understand how to help your brother. It is a smart thing to do than being ashamed of.

      If you wish you could disclose your location and together we can find some resources for you.

      Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.

      Sending you peace and hope.
      Desi Girl


  12. Nocturnal Bird June 23, 2010 at p06 #

    I got ur refernce thru ur comment in http://www.allifeel.wordpress.com.
    Your articles are just great and mind-blowing. GGTS – indeed an asylum for those who face the embarrassing questions relating to Relationships,

    Kudos to you.

    Nocturnal Bird


    • girlsguidetosurvival June 23, 2010 at p06 #


      Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.

      Thanks for showing confidence in GGTS. Yes, people do post questions and questions on taboo topics are always welcome. If Desi girl cannot answer something then she'll find the experts to answer it for the readers.

      Please share this message of with anyone who may benefit.


      Desi Girl


  13. A.Hari June 23, 2010 at p06 #

    Really Great Blog. Thanks for your hard work. It is absolutely essential to increase awareness among women.

    Pl read this inspiring story of a physically challenged woman in my blog ‘Inspire Minds’,




    • girlsguidetosurvival June 23, 2010 at p06 #


      welcome to GGTS, a safe space.

      Thanks for your support and encouragement. Please share this message of with anyone who may benefit.

      Thanks for sharing that wonderful story about a very courageous woman. Life never stops amazing me.


      Desi Girl


      • ranveer December 1, 2012 at p12 #

        It’s matter of time before I leave to heavenly abode..Can you please reach me on ranveer.veer@gmail.com!!


        Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
        Do you think there is a heaven and a heavenly abode?
        What is your plan? What do you intend to do and how it will solve the problem you are facing?
        Please write in clear words what kind of help you are looking forward.
        It is not possible for DG to reach out to you on your email she is traveling. You have to write to her.

        Stay strong and remember nothing lasts for ever… this too shall pass.
        Desi Girl


      • ranveer December 2, 2012 at p12 #

        Where can I write to you DG?

        You can leave a comment here or find DG’s email in of the comments on different pages and posts. Please be assured your personal information will be strictly confidential with exception to you being danger to your self or another living being.
        Disclose only as much you want to read on a public forum.


  14. anna w December 18, 2009 at p12 #

    i’m amazed – learning much and understanding more about the world i live in…still reading…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

A Desi Girl's Guide to Relationship Survival

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

From the wet market

Mostly vegetarian meals from Asia

****आयुर्वेद : आयुष**** ई०टी०जी० आयुर्वेदास्कैन ****AYURVEDA : E.T.G. AyurvedaScan **** ****आयुष आविष्कार**** ई० एच० जी० ****होम्योपैथीस्कैन **** E.H.G. Homoeopathy Scan

AYUSH means A.Y.U.S.H. य़ानी Ayurveda + Yoga & Nature Cure + Unani +Sidhdha + Homoeopathy ; आयुष पान्च चिकित्सा विधियो को मिलाकर एक टर्म बना दिया गया है , जिसका मतलब [१] A word से आयुर्वेद [२] Y word से योग और प्राकृतिक चिकित्सा [३] U word से यूनानी चिकित्सा [४] S word से सिध्ध चिकित्सा [५] H word से होम्योपैथी चिकित्सा ; आयुर्वेद के अलावा भारत में आविष्कार की गयी और भारत सरकार द्वारा परीक्षित की जा चुकी मान्यता प्राप्त विश्व की पहली और अकेली आयुर्वेद की शत-प्रतिशत पूर्णतया स्वदेशी तकनीक "इलेक्ट्रो त्रिदोष ग्राफी : ई०टी०जी० आयुर्वेदास्कैन " , जिसका आविष्कार जून, १९८६ में कानपुर शहर, उत्तर प्रदेश, भारत के आयुष चिकित्सा वैग्यानिक डा० देश बन्धु बाजपेयी - मोबाइल: 09336238994 - e.mail : drdbbajpai@gmail.com द्वारा किया गया और जिसका लगातार विकास कार्य जारी है / E.T.G.A.S. तकनीक द्वारा (1) आयुर्वेद के मौलिक सिध्धान्तों का स्टेटस क्वान्टीफाई करने और इसी तकनीक द्वारा (2) शरीर के सभी अन्गों और प्रत्यन्गॊ में व्याप्त समस्त रोगों के निदान ग्यान की वैग्यानिक aproach की जानकारी कराने और सबसे नवीन दूसरी आविष्कार की गयी निदान और रोग ग्यान तक्नीक आयुर्वेदा थर्मों ग्राफी ; आयुर्वेदा ऊष्मा-स्कैन ; आयुर्वेदा थेर्मल मैपिन्ग एवम स्कैनिन्ग के अलावा आयुर्वेद की अन्य की गयी खोजों में तीसरी खोज ”आयुर्वेद हीमो-मीटर मशीन” द्वारा रोगी के रक्त का परीक्षण करके आयुर्वेद के सिध्ध्न्तों का मूल्यान्कन तथा चौथी खोज रोगी के पेशाब / मूत्र का ”आयुर्वेद यूरीनो-मीटर” द्वारा परीक्षण करके आयुर्वेद के सिध्धान्तो की उपस्तिथि के अलावा मूत्र के अन्दर पाये जाने वाले पदार्थों का विष्लेषण करके रोग निदान की विधियों की खोज रिसर्च सेन्टर द्वारा कर ली गयी है और रोगियों के लिये उपलब्ध करा दी गयी है ...आयुष AYUSH चिकित्सा विधियों के बारे में विश्वसनीय और सटीक और अचूक और सही जानकारी और शोध पूर्ण और शोध युक्त ग्यान बोध कराने वाला द्विभाषीय चिठ्ठा ...................................Ayurveda and AYUSH Therapies including Chines Accupunctur, Magnet Therapy,Physiotherapy etc and with this in June, 1986, invented by KANPUR, Uttar Pradesh State, INDIA based AYUSH Medical Scientist Dr. Desh Bandhu Bajpai - Mobile : 09336238994 - e.mail: drdbbajpai@gmail.com , completely indeginous AYURVEDA SCANNING Technology - "Electro Tridosha Graphy ; E.T.G.AyurvedaScan " system, EXAMINED & APPROVED BY GOVERNMENT OF INDIA , by which (a) status of Ayurvedic Fundamentals are quantified and (b) examinaton of whole body for diagnosis of presence of anomalies and ailments , Second scanning system of Ayurveda Discovered and Invented by Dr. D.B.Bajpai ; Ayurveda Thermal Mapping and Scanning , Other research in Ayurveda is Third one which analysis Blood by AYURVEDA HEAMO-METER devise and Fourth one is AYURVEDA URINO-METER for analysing the contents of urine and status quantification of Ayurveda Principles and is avalable for patient in our research center...... provides information about Research and Developments technology provider , authenticated subject material publisher, Bilingual Hindi and English informer Blog


जनसंघर्ष को समर्पित

Talking to the Wall

Posting about this and that :)

Surviving Traumatic Brain Injury

TBI - Survivors, Caregivers, Family, and Friends


मेरे विचारो का

समाजवादी जनपरिषद

वैश्वीकरण विरोध हेतु

Corporate Coaching: Build Your International Career

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

W.S.S.A @ UWindsor

Women's Studies Student Association @ University of Windsor, Ontario

Shafiq Ur Rahman Khan

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

Beyond The Second Sex (स्त्रीविमर्श)

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

नारी , NAARI

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.


Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

%d bloggers like this: