Desi Gifts: All in the Family

6 Jan

Desi Gifts: All in the Family

06/01/2018

DG called some relatives to wish them happy anniversary.  Family elder answered the phone after exchanging pleasantries she asked for the couple. The senior who happened to be the parent and the father-in-law of the couple suggested it wasn’t a good time. He explained the couple had just entered the home after five hour Boxing Day shopping spree. In the background DG could hear aggrieved female voice. On probing old man said she is upset because her husband did not give her an anniversary card. The perplexed old man continued, “He just bought her a $700.00 refrigerator; is that not a gift?”

Though DG is a relative on the man’s side but she sides with the aggrieved wife. How can a refrigerator that whole family will use equate to a personal gift to your wife. A refrigerator, water heater or any household gadget is something a family needs it’s definitely not a personal gift. A personal gift need not be an exorbitant “want” it can be a much needed item for personal use that the receiver is coveting or giver feels will be useful to them. A gift doesn’t have to be tangible it can be an experience, a romantic dinner at home, movie or quality fun time together. A gift is about making the other person feel special and appreciated.

Back in the day as a kid if DG asked for a birthday gift parents would feel exasperated and throw it back, “hey, we provide you with everything, best of the best does that still leave a need for any gifts?” or, “hey, we just bought that new oven, TV or whatever shame on you asking for more gifts.”  She couldn’t argue so went around pouting or stomping with age she started appreciating the parental sacrifices and care. One would wonder why a spouse especially a wife can’t be propitiated by similar reasoning.

The question is ludicrous because spouses comprise family yet they are a couple unlike other family members. The spousal dyad shares intimacy, responsibilities and history like none other in the family. To honor their commitment to each other and appreciate the milestones together they reached deserves a private celebration if not a public display.

Though DG sided with the wife but she is still wondering why this wife felt she deserves to be acknowledged not her spouse? If she knew it was their wedding anniversary why didn’t she wish her spouse and give him a card. Both are working and raising a young family, yes; it is true she shoulders more domestic burdens. If she was testing her spouse and keeping a score of his sins of omissions then she too was guilty of sin of commission. May be it is a fun game keeping score of sins of omission and commission.  Who wins and who loses. May be there are no winners just losers.

What is an ideal gift/present?

You are the ideal gift/present when you are present, when you give your undivided attention and time to someone and make them feel special and appreciated.

What is the best gift you ever received please share in the comments.

Ideal movie to watch on the topic of intimacy will be Hope Springs

 

Sins of omission: Willful omissions, not disclosing all the facts or refusal to do the right thing.

Sins of commission: Willful act of moral digression, Adam and Eve eating the apple.

Advertisements

8 Responses to “Desi Gifts: All in the Family”

  1. girlsguidetosurvival January 18, 2018 at p01 #

    @Pooja Priyamvada,

    Welcome back to GGTS, a safe space.
    Yes, time is the most precious gift one can give and that to quality time. DG has observed parents spending quality time with their smart phone while their minor child languishes.
    How innocent are the handmade cards from kids the sincerity of effort and enthusiasm to please is unbeatable.
    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Peace,
    DG

    Like

  2. Annie Thomas January 9, 2018 at p01 #

    I also enjoyed your observation about “testing” our partners, and mutual responsibility. If it’s a shared celebration, everyone has the responsibility to make it happen the way they would enjoy it most….and remain open to dialogue around it, In fact one of the most precious gifts for me is warm connection, without judgement or manipulation. Wondering how that sounds.

    @Annie Thomas,
    Thank you. Yes, we all long for a warm connection yet feel that often is lacking in intimate relationships. May be we are scared of vulnerability or lack enough intimacy to escape judgement and manipulation.
    Contemplating on the concepts of vulnerability and intimacy.
    Peace,
    DG

    Like

  3. Annie Thomas January 9, 2018 at p01 #

    Perhaps one of the nicest gifts I received was acceptance and acknowledgement that I matter, in whatever form it may come.

    @Annie Thomas,
    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
    Please accept DG’s apologies for delay in responding.

    Yes indeed, acceptance and acknowledgement are the most sincere and valueable gifts once can give and receive.
    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Peace,
    Desi Girl

    Like

  4. Bikramjit January 8, 2018 at p01 #

    sadly not many gift me 😦 I know i know sad life 😦 😦 …

    but I do beleive in a giving a big Jaffi and tons of wishes … the punjabi style.. nothing can beat that rest is all monetary. 🙂

    How are you doing DG.. Long time Longggggggggggggggg Time

    Like

    • girlsguidetosurvival January 18, 2018 at p01 #

      @Bikramjit,

      Welcome back to GGTS, a safe place. Guess if GGTS could speak it will welcome DG back. Yes, it’s been so long. One whole year and no post.
      How are you?
      No gifts for you means you are someone who has everything they need and want. Yes genuine warmth in expression and greetings is indeed one of the best gift.
      How are you?
      Keep coming back friend.
      Peace,
      DG

      Like

  5. Huzaifa January 7, 2018 at p01 #

    Well it is really hard to decide what is the best gift one received. However, I do remember one gift, which i have preserved and still makes me sad, which I received from my ex – a wallet. I had been planning to buy a good wallet since ages, and she had noticed that I didn’t have one. She surprised me by leaving the gift wrapped in my car dashboard. It was the first gift she gifted me and always occupies a cherished place in my life.

    Like

    • girlsguidetosurvival January 18, 2018 at p01 #

      @Huzaifa,
      Welcome back to GGTS, a safe space.
      When people especially loved ones put a thought into gift giving it means a lot. The gift of wallet is symbolic of her attention to your needs that she noticed and got it for you one.
      It is long time now time for a new wallet for new beginnings and let go of old hang ups.

      Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
      Peace,
      DG

      Like

  6. Pooja Priyamvada January 7, 2018 at p01 #

    DG yes the most precious gift ever received is TIME but if tangible ones are to be listed hand made cards by my daughter. Sharing this

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

From the wet market

Mostly vegetarian meals from Asia

****आयुर्वेद : आयुष**** ई०टी०जी० आयुर्वेदास्कैन ****AYURVEDA : E.T.G. AyurvedaScan **** ****आयुष आविष्कार**** ई० एच० जी० ****होम्योपैथीस्कैन **** E.H.G. Homoeopathy Scan

AYUSH means A.Y.U.S.H. य़ानी Ayurveda + Yoga & Nature Cure + Unani +Sidhdha + Homoeopathy ; आयुष पान्च चिकित्सा विधियो को मिलाकर एक टर्म बना दिया गया है , जिसका मतलब [१] A word से आयुर्वेद [२] Y word से योग और प्राकृतिक चिकित्सा [३] U word से यूनानी चिकित्सा [४] S word से सिध्ध चिकित्सा [५] H word से होम्योपैथी चिकित्सा ; आयुर्वेद के अलावा भारत में आविष्कार की गयी और भारत सरकार द्वारा परीक्षित की जा चुकी मान्यता प्राप्त विश्व की पहली और अकेली आयुर्वेद की शत-प्रतिशत पूर्णतया स्वदेशी तकनीक "इलेक्ट्रो त्रिदोष ग्राफी : ई०टी०जी० आयुर्वेदास्कैन " , जिसका आविष्कार जून, १९८६ में कानपुर शहर, उत्तर प्रदेश, भारत के आयुष चिकित्सा वैग्यानिक डा० देश बन्धु बाजपेयी - मोबाइल: 09336238994 - e.mail : drdbbajpai@gmail.com द्वारा किया गया और जिसका लगातार विकास कार्य जारी है / E.T.G.A.S. तकनीक द्वारा (1) आयुर्वेद के मौलिक सिध्धान्तों का स्टेटस क्वान्टीफाई करने और इसी तकनीक द्वारा (2) शरीर के सभी अन्गों और प्रत्यन्गॊ में व्याप्त समस्त रोगों के निदान ग्यान की वैग्यानिक aproach की जानकारी कराने और सबसे नवीन दूसरी आविष्कार की गयी निदान और रोग ग्यान तक्नीक आयुर्वेदा थर्मों ग्राफी ; आयुर्वेदा ऊष्मा-स्कैन ; आयुर्वेदा थेर्मल मैपिन्ग एवम स्कैनिन्ग के अलावा आयुर्वेद की अन्य की गयी खोजों में तीसरी खोज ”आयुर्वेद हीमो-मीटर मशीन” द्वारा रोगी के रक्त का परीक्षण करके आयुर्वेद के सिध्ध्न्तों का मूल्यान्कन तथा चौथी खोज रोगी के पेशाब / मूत्र का ”आयुर्वेद यूरीनो-मीटर” द्वारा परीक्षण करके आयुर्वेद के सिध्धान्तो की उपस्तिथि के अलावा मूत्र के अन्दर पाये जाने वाले पदार्थों का विष्लेषण करके रोग निदान की विधियों की खोज रिसर्च सेन्टर द्वारा कर ली गयी है और रोगियों के लिये उपलब्ध करा दी गयी है ...आयुष AYUSH चिकित्सा विधियों के बारे में विश्वसनीय और सटीक और अचूक और सही जानकारी और शोध पूर्ण और शोध युक्त ग्यान बोध कराने वाला द्विभाषीय चिठ्ठा ...................................Ayurveda and AYUSH Therapies including Chines Accupunctur, Magnet Therapy,Physiotherapy etc and with this in June, 1986, invented by KANPUR, Uttar Pradesh State, INDIA based AYUSH Medical Scientist Dr. Desh Bandhu Bajpai - Mobile : 09336238994 - e.mail: drdbbajpai@gmail.com , completely indeginous AYURVEDA SCANNING Technology - "Electro Tridosha Graphy ; E.T.G.AyurvedaScan " system, EXAMINED & APPROVED BY GOVERNMENT OF INDIA , by which (a) status of Ayurvedic Fundamentals are quantified and (b) examinaton of whole body for diagnosis of presence of anomalies and ailments , Second scanning system of Ayurveda Discovered and Invented by Dr. D.B.Bajpai ; Ayurveda Thermal Mapping and Scanning , Other research in Ayurveda is Third one which analysis Blood by AYURVEDA HEAMO-METER devise and Fourth one is AYURVEDA URINO-METER for analysing the contents of urine and status quantification of Ayurveda Principles and is avalable for patient in our research center...... provides information about Research and Developments technology provider , authenticated subject material publisher, Bilingual Hindi and English informer Blog

LOKSANGHARSHA

जनसंघर्ष को समर्पित

Talking to the Wall

Posting about this and that :)

Surviving Traumatic Brain Injury

TBI - Survivors, Caregivers, Family, and Friends

The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

My life and everything that touches it....

"कुरुक्षेत्र"

मेरे विचारो का

समाजवादी जनपरिषद

वैश्वीकरण विरोध हेतु

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

W.S.S.A @ UWindsor

Women's Studies Student Association @ University of Windsor, Ontario

Shafiq Ur Rahman Khan

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

Beyond The Second Sex (स्त्रीविमर्श)

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

नारी , NAARI

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

Sparsh

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

Zerqa Abid

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

%d bloggers like this: