Desi Gifts: All in the Family

Desi Gifts: All in the Family

06/01/2018

DG called some relatives to wish them happy anniversary.  Family elder answered the phone after exchanging pleasantries she asked for the couple. The senior who happened to be the parent and the father-in-law of the couple suggested it wasn’t a good time. He explained the couple had just entered the home after five hour Boxing Day shopping spree. In the background DG could hear aggrieved female voice. On probing old man said she is upset because her husband did not give her an anniversary card. The perplexed old man continued, “He just bought her a $700.00 refrigerator; is that not a gift?”

Though DG is a relative on the man’s side but she sides with the aggrieved wife. How can a refrigerator that whole family will use equate to a personal gift to your wife. A refrigerator, water heater or any household gadget is something a family needs it’s definitely not a personal gift. A personal gift need not be an exorbitant “want” it can be a much needed item for personal use that the receiver is coveting or giver feels will be useful to them. A gift doesn’t have to be tangible it can be an experience, a romantic dinner at home, movie or quality fun time together. A gift is about making the other person feel special and appreciated.

Back in the day as a kid if DG asked for a birthday gift parents would feel exasperated and throw it back, “hey, we provide you with everything, best of the best does that still leave a need for any gifts?” or, “hey, we just bought that new oven, TV or whatever shame on you asking for more gifts.”  She couldn’t argue so went around pouting or stomping with age she started appreciating the parental sacrifices and care. One would wonder why a spouse especially a wife can’t be propitiated by similar reasoning.

The question is ludicrous because spouses comprise family yet they are a couple unlike other family members. The spousal dyad shares intimacy, responsibilities and history like none other in the family. To honor their commitment to each other and appreciate the milestones together they reached deserves a private celebration if not a public display.

Though DG sided with the wife but she is still wondering why this wife felt she deserves to be acknowledged not her spouse? If she knew it was their wedding anniversary why didn’t she wish her spouse and give him a card. Both are working and raising a young family, yes; it is true she shoulders more domestic burdens. If she was testing her spouse and keeping a score of his sins of omissions then she too was guilty of sin of commission. May be it is a fun game keeping score of sins of omission and commission.  Who wins and who loses. May be there are no winners just losers.

What is an ideal gift/present?

You are the ideal gift/present when you are present, when you give your undivided attention and time to someone and make them feel special and appreciated.

What is the best gift you ever received please share in the comments.

Ideal movie to watch on the topic of intimacy will be Hope Springs

 

Sins of omission: Willful omissions, not disclosing all the facts or refusal to do the right thing.

Sins of commission: Willful act of moral digression, Adam and Eve eating the apple.