In all religions followers are the subordinates serving the all mighty God(s). They carry forward God’s divine will be it to eliminate the defectors or propagate the followers. There is an unspoken hierarchy between the Gods and the followers. Just as some animals are more equal the followers have their own preferred club for selected few be it caste, class, gender or degree of loyalty based. Most patriarchal religions ordain a subordinate position to women just because they are women. Even the mother Goddesses in the patriarchal religions prefer male devotees over the female or they forbid them during their moon cycle. In patriarchy religion corroborates with other institutions to legitimize oppression of women; seek a change in any law some one will run to fetch a scripture to see if Gods permit it or not (as if Gods’ granted them permission to land on moon and drive cars).
In the colonial times the clergy banded together to prevent women from attaining formal education, they argued the great culture of this mighty land will be erased from the face of earth and most of all the education will divert the much-needed blood supply in the uterus to women’s brains rendering them infertile. When the later argument could not be substantiated it came and rested on the fear “if the educated women will cook and scrounge dishes;” so we have convent educated homely girl clause in the matrimonials. [Similar arguments emerged in the west and many other parts of the world so this was nothing unique to Des, to argue, read the references below this post and we’ll have a good discussion.] It is interesting to observe religions oppress women publicly, intimately and spiritually but still women are its most ardent followers. They not only religiously follow the rituals even those that oppress them but also make sure other women follow the suit; a MIL will insist the DIL carry on the family tradition and perform fasts and rituals that will ensure longevity of the male kin (both women are praying for the longevity of the same man as their social/financial survival depends upon him).
One may wonder why women do not question this oppression or give upon the religion or oppressive rituals. Religion not only scares its followers of divine wrath for individual failures but also makes sure followers monitor each other. In this process of co-monitoring it creates a space for agency and social status for the most oppressed. A woman who is prevented from stepping outside the homes by her in-laws can easily navigate the wider world if she is to perform a religious ritual or pilgrimage that will ensure longevity of their son or grandchildren or welfare of the kinsmen. Those women who cannot utter a word in the presence of family elders or have to keep their heads covered find an opportunity to sing and dance in public amongst the strangers during mata ki chowki; it is one occasion when the great family honor is enhanced not maligned. If one is a true devotee they can get possessed and the Goddess can play through them to beget what ever they want or get even with someone you don’t like or have a grudge against; beat them black and blue no questions asked rather one is worshipped and offered gifts. Then some can do a scary dance and show off their powers to create a fear and reverence in the hearts of their detractors. The important thing to note is that the woman possessed is always the one who is either lowest in the female familial hierarchy or otherwise oppressed young mother. If it were to be a childless woman then she would be dakin, a possesser of evil powers (property was always in the root).
The idea to evoke women to find their own God has been tossing and turning in DG’s head for quite sometime because she read the fear in a co blogger’s post and in many other women’s writing but it was finally nailed in by this post. DG is sure the Gods’ (especially the bachelor God) were okay with Jayamala’s visit twenty-four years ago because no curse befell on her, she had a thriving career. Not Gods but the male followers felt violated because she escaped their scrutiny. Now when they have found out her folly the sheepish few have to subject her to penance (fines/imprisonment) and commit them and Gods to purification forgetting a lots of water has been under the bridges… Both Gods and these men had numerous baths in last 24 years. How imposing fines will purify the impure is beyond comprehension it just brings to mind this couplet in Urdu.
Is shehar e tijarat main har cheez moyassar hai
(In this business world every thing has a price)
kitney ka nabi lo gay , kitney ka khuda logay
(how much will you pay for a demi God and how much for a God)
The multiplicity of Gods raises too much confusion, to each their own.
If someone was to question the existence of God, will it offend the God? Could one describe God? If one could then it won’t be God, it will be just another thing within human comprehension.
The over emphasis on HE God (yes, some believe he has little bit of she in him) tilts the whole balance. Women constitute half the population they can demand an unattached (single) SHE God (Goddesses won’t do as they are wives and mothers tied to male Gods for status; each Goddess is subordinate to a corresponding a male deity).
SHE God who’ll not be upset with women’s moon cycles she’ll not feel polluted by the touch of a menstruating woman. If they were to become impure that will imply a woman in her periods has more power than Gods. Will have to wonder what kind of God is it that fears a menstruating woman.
At times it seems working with Gods is like walking on egg shells. Do X or Gods’ wrath will befall on you. Don’t do X or Gods’ will be offended. They appear to be pretty angry and vengeful easily offended by minor ritual failures. Is HE a God or a neighbor’s kid who believes in tit for tat; you slapped me so I’ll kick you.
On another level it seems it’s not God(s) but a Car that one has to use according to the manufacturer’s user manual (rituals) or the insurance claim (prayers) will be denied (prayers not answered) hence loss (may be curse).
There has to be a mutual relationship with scope of negotiations and play like Moshsin naqvi says:
Har zara chamakta hai anwar e ilahi se
(every particle shines due to God’s grace)
Har saans yeh kehti hai hum hein to khuda bhi hai
(every breath says, if I am then God is)
How about a kind and benevolent God, who’ll not discriminate against anyone; not even non believers. Who’ll work with us in bringing out the best in us humanity, kindness and compassion? Who’ll accept us for who we are irrespective of our doubts and weaknesses and help us in being human.
DG has one such kind and benevolent God that was, is and will be always be there for her. Who does not scare her with fear of hell or entice her with promises of heavens. She is willing to share it with you or you can find your own God.
For Good Reading:
Padma Anagol, The emergence of Feminism in India, 1850-1920.
Gena Corea, The Mother Machine: Reproductive Technologies from Artificial Insemination to Artificial Wombs.
Charu Gupta, Sexuality, Obscenity, Community: Women, Muslims, and the Hindu Public in Colonial India.
Mery Keller, The hammer and the Flute: Women, Power, and Spirit Possession.
Bibliography on Witch Hunting in India
The references are purposefully incomplete to keep GGTS a non academic space.
I need no God,new or old, male or female. I don’t like someone being so powerful, having power over others and their lives. I am happy without a god.
Ghughuti Basuti
@Ghughuti Basuti,
Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
Good for you. To each their own.
Please share this mesage of hope with anyone who maybenefit.
Peace,
Desi Girl
LikeLike
Congratulations 🙂 This post in one of the winners of ‘Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards – 2011’ (TRBA 2011). We would like to create an ebook with all the winning entries in 47 categories on Feminism and Gender Issues in India (and one category on Animals Rights). Please do let us know if you are fine with your winning post/s being included in this ebook. ( Please click here to let us know).
LikeLike
Yes, totally agree! Enough of putting up with ridiculous religious customs and traditions that suppress and oppress women. Yes it IS time to find one’s own God. I’m glad you’ve found yours, DG! God bless 🙂
Thank you the mention 🙂
LikeLike
About the Sabarimalai excuses….Right now we have birth control pills that will give us periods only 4 times a year. So women can take up the 41 day ritual without tiring or becoming impure.
Will they be allowed NOW?
LikeLike
Oh I am pretty sure this is not the solution. But since the priests seem so hung up on menstrual cycles I was wondering if they will accept medically helped women….btw how do they determine if all the men have faithfully followed the 41 day ritual? For all you know these men might have made merry all those days, then put on their sabarimalai garb and shown up. It is sad that the same trust is not extended to women.
As far as I am concerned, I never followed this crap. I have boldly stepped into places of worship when I had menstrual cycles and strangely enough, I live to tell the tale 🙂 If God was a vengeful, petty being, then I am not sure I should worship HIM anyways.
LikeLike
Indian women i know always prefer women doctors for medical needs. For guidance and mental support they visit women counselors and societies.
But when it comes to spirituality, they go absolutely gaga about ‘babas’. Husbands wonder whom they adore more.
Its one of things that naturally comes to men, like many inherent qualities of women.
LikeLike
Its amazing that Religion was created when we were unable to explain things scientifically. Now we know that a woman’s menstrual cycle is a necessary part of her reproductive abilities and yet many religions continue to malign us as “impure” when we are menstruating. Religion continues to see women as unequal and inferior yet we hang on.
I wish I could say that God was merely created by man so he could affirm his own ego but that would make me a non-believer and that’s scary. Maybe we do need to create our own God or at least a Religion that views as equals.
LikeLike
I should also say that as a Christian, I am amazed yet not surprised at how all the world’s religions treat women. They all have different ways of treating women as second class but are all similar in that they do.
LikeLike
DG … its not the Gods but the religions that propogate all this non-sense … my mom told me once that in olden days when women had absolutly no off from work , they used this as an excuse to avoid work for 3 days a month … They wont cook food , not touch anoyone , wont do any work , just be in a room , isolated and rest . similarly the concept of 40 days of rest after child birth was evolved . that was a women’s time to rest all day in bed …if she has a male child then she will be even fed on bed and taken care of by all and given gifts and gold and dreses … its a tradition that became evil practice …whatever , i find it absurd and anyways my religion is impartial to gender if You go by holy book …there is nothing like man and women ..whatever it is, its for both ..:)..ofcourse religious leaders will have their own versions .
LikeLike
Most of the time, i am unable to understand your post due to lack of experience of marriage. I was able to understand this one.
Thank you, one doesn’t need to be married to understand what desi women go through in everyday lives, just being observant and kind will do.
Too change in gender of God of any religion will not affect anything. Religions of the world are creating cultures that are fatal to human rights and lives.
Patriarchy goes and Matriarchy will take over. because they are not based on equality but dominance of gender.
Let me quote here George Orwell’s warning that a corrupt system will if unchanged, stay corrupt even if power shifts hands from its tyrants to its past victims – and soon enough, as he wrote, ‘ it’s impossible to tell which is which ‘ ; When a long abuse of power is corrected, it is generally replaced by an opposite violence. In the new dispensations, all that was good in what went before is tarred indiscriminately with the bad. Those who have to face political or social persecution become highly polarized.
And,God is a dead concept for me.
LikeLike
U can be a good teacher ! try that career !
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
Oh Desi Girl – i just love your posts. This one, while being angry(as you so rightly should be) made me laugh out loud where you wrote – the sheepish few have to subject her to penance (fines/imprisonment) and commit them and Gods to purification forgetting a lots of water has been under the bridges… Both Gods and these men had numerous baths in last 24 years. How imposing fines will purify the impure is beyond comprehension. Hilarious, you hit the nail on the head with that.
Was distressed to read about Revathy’s menstrual humiliations. @ Revathy – when I was newly wed and visited my MIL she also told me I could not go to the mandir during my period. I found that absolutely awful, because everybody was going and I didnt want to be left at home. I wish I had taken a stand but I didn;t because I loved my husband and I can”t deal with disharmony ( big failing, I know, I have since learned to fight it and now just say it like it is). What I did do though, was not inform MIL – and threaten my husband with dire consequences if he did not support me. It worked for me because I was just an occasional visitor. And because I knew the gods love me, whether I am menstruating or not.
LikeLike
One of my friend says if you have to have a peaceful life “ACT” and dont “REACT”. I follow everything they say, but actually i am cheating them showing them i do believe in GOD, wearing churidhar only when at in-laws place but wear jean when at my parents home, wear jasmine and gold jewels only at home but once at office totally change my outlook.
LikeLike
Every married women in this world is forced ress their ideas and beliefs once they get into married life. Though my husband is fine with me being an atheist, he says its every person’s own perception, but still wants me to show no difference in front of my in-laws. And I am following all the rituals, fasts and menstruation time humiliations(Sleeping on the floor, washing hair twice a day, untouchability-not to touch anything in my wardrobe/pooja room, even more which could end up in a blogpost). But sadly all these are imposed by yet another woman.
Nice post.
LikeLike
please give the address of your God.
you are right
when there are thousands of GODS heavens will not fall if we have one more in the long list
a God who doesn’t believe in discrimination, who respects and trusts women in general and wife in particular ( not like Ram who believed more in what people had to say , who took agni pariksha of his wife and humiliated her publicly by asking her to prove her Chasity and also to prove that the children were his own– did they have DNA test at that time?)
or like Krishna who flirted openly with gopis
i wonder what She Gods used to do during their monthly cycles. did they loose their Godliness during these days/
one more pertinent question does God really believe in discrimination or it is us the human beings who have manipulated and fabricated the whole thing to suit our needs
LikeLike