Love, Sex and Dhokha: A Tale of Blackmail
When ever love is spoken of an imagery of tender feelings and personal vulnerability comes to mind. Poets and laureates across the globe have spilled enough ink in defining what love is. What ever the love may be it always has some foreseeable goal that has to be attained. If it is divine love then it is the merger with the divine is the end goal as mentioned in the sufi and bakti tradition. If it is mortal love then may be connubiality or constant support and understanding as in the case of platonic love.
If connubiality is the goal, then love as defined by the bollywood songs and melodramas works over time with hormones that are suppressed in the name of morality and illegitimacy. In transitioning economies along with gender roles gender expectations are fast changing but the gender ideals (read stereotypes) have failed to keep pace. The age at marriage has increased and so has gender comingling leading to more possibilities of meeting prospective marriage partners in non traditional settings. Even then in a society divided on the lines of caste, class, religion, creed, region, ethnicity, nationality etc., a couple has to cross all of these barriers and mind the raging hormones. If it were a woman then she has to even guard her own desires and temptations while proving her love to her beloved. The sexual innuendos of the folk songs that were cleaned by the pre colonial nationalist elite are re-inducted into the social psyche through electronic media. The sexual element or the act of sex itself in the relationship that was once subtle is no longer and is often manifested to claim modernity, acceptance into peers or to prove “the love.”
When love goes sour due to what ever reason it hurts and it hurts bad to the one who is more invested in the relationship. If the love that had sex in it goes bad then it hurts even more because this was not in the plan. The hurt is more and grievous to the party that placed more premiums on sexual integrity. Mindless sex in a professed love relationship is possible only for the people who have no intentions of honoring their words rather are sure to get away with no personal or social repercussions. It is an old and endless debate if sex on the pretext of a promise of marriage is enough to be termed as rape if the promise is broken. Often sex in a rather prospectively marital relationship enters on the false promise or understanding that marriage is the ultimate goal. Under such presumptive false pretexts if marriage were to be considered a contract then it was broken at the stage of retention. Can any damages be recovered without further harm to the reputation of the offended? If yes, then what could it be; monetary compensations or forced company of an untrustworthy person who is incapable of loving.
This whole equation takes another form when a person entices sex in the name of love and then pimps the poor beloved to others just for fun or monetary gains. Every now and then sex scandals and blackmail chains are exposed across the nation that involves middle class educated young women from well to do families. How do these women fall prey to these blackmailers? And more over how are these blackmailers able to continue their gruesome trade. The answer is as simple as that the word called “love” is pretty intoxicating making people let their guard down and our media glorifies hormone rush as love. These blackmailers are able to continue their evil designs because they know they can get away without any consequences as society will bash the victim for falling prey.
It could happen to any young woman you know. Kindly follow the links and empower yourself with information that can help someone.