What is Desi Sex?

10 Sep

What is Desi Sex?

This blog (GGTS) gets an average of 80-90 hits a day. One good day it received 120 hits and Desi Girl was pretty rejoyced.  Out of curiosity she looked up the search engine terms people used to find GGTS. Her curiosity to know how people found her blog just killed the cat. Rest was taken care of by spams from Viagra, Cialis, other ED medications and penile extension websites, all posted on this and this page. (… and Freud said something about penis envy. DG is aware of western homophobia  even though desi masculinities are eqaully insecure but there is less homophobia. Read  Holi in Banaras and the Mahaland of Modernity by Lawrence Cohen);  In a phallus centric desi culture one can sell snake oil in the name of male sexual prowess (search desi viagra on youtube, it is a common scene across the country) and sand to women to lighten the complexion. Desi Girl is dumbfounded what part of GGTS screams sex and perversion. Women’s sexuality is definitely obsession of all patriarchal institutions be it society, community, family, marriage, religion, polity or education. Each defines women’s sexuality through male gaze for the aggrandizement of male egos by ownership of women associated to them through marriage and family (need not be just consanguine or conjugal but even imagined kinship); our women = pure women, their women= impure and wanton women. Be it colonial nationalist elite discourses hypersexualizing European women or lower caste women or be it Hindu fundamentalist discourses on Muslim women (there are simultaneous and binary discourses on hypersexualized men and victimized women in need of rescue and hypersexualized women in need of taming). Each patriarchal institution corroborates the other to maintain this stance of male honor through control of women bodies and sexuality. When ever a woman asserts right to her body and sexuality she immediately becomes immoral (read prostitute, vibhiyacharini).  It is interesting to note when men define woman, women and femininity be it erotic poets of middle ages or Vātsyāyan penning Kamasutra all becomes classical literature where as if women define themselves their needs and sexuality they become whores, a threat to social order and literature.

Search Engine Terms

These are terms people used to find your blog. 

desi sex 9
desi girl 7
desi river bath 3
dominated deshi girl 3
desi mother in laws 2
desi sex girls 2
sweet indian desi girl unknown 2
http://www.desi sex.com 2
po desi sex guide 2
rights in a relationship 2
desi girl with boy friend action 1
how long into a relationship before abus 1
are we realy free after 63 independence 1
desi mom pregnant sex sun 1
desi sex work 1
desi girl sex seal broaken 1
how to talk to desi girls 1
desi sisterinlaw 1
a desi girls guide 1
desi women sex blogspot 1
desi sex fucking 1
suicide lucky survival what to do 1
desi girls guide to 1
son blackmail his mother for sex 1
how to deal with indian husband spending 1
do’s and don’ts of getting laid 1
parents blackmailing me to get married a 1
why are desi people mean to each other 1
usa single desi mom 1
desi blackmails for sex 1
desi girl dying for sex 1
x desi actress sex 1
desi sex with voice 1
desi po guide 1
free desi sex talk sound 1
www desistudent sex school pissing com 1
deshi sex north south university sex 1
mother in law issues- tit for tat 1
desi sex girl.com 1
www desi sex girl 1
vaijantimala actress 1
i want my desi wife to smoke 1
desi sex blogs 1
manipulation of in laws 1
desi marriage sex 1
relationship survival in h.s 1
desi sex boobs 1
narayan peth saree 1
making love or getting laid 1
search desi school girl sex 1
emotional manipulation self hate 1
quiz signs of an abuser 1
guide to blackmail 1
breaking addiction to person 1
desi dating boston 1
http://www.dasi sex.com 1
bangladesh desi sex 1
desi indian village where woman do sex w 1

Still wondering if there is something called Desi Sex and if yes then who gets to define it. Why aren’t there search terms like desi men sex, desi sex man.com etc 🙂 . 

The only golden lining to this gloomy cloud is that there are serious readers who motivate Desi Girl to research and bring forth important information. Desi Girl sincerely thanks all her readers, comment writers and chat pals.


Desi Girl


29 Responses to “What is Desi Sex?”

  1. Iris August 14, 2012 at p08 #

    As much as I hate it, did you know, that the law especially Indian HMA defines the wife as property of the husband!!! How objectifying is that? It’s like someone OWNES you. Is that not in itself breeding a twisted, archaic thought process and allowing it to fester.

    Even weirder is the fact that physical violence in India is not seen as a big deal by the law (directly experience at the hands of lawyers etc.,). Are we as a culture more interested in preserving rubbish traditions as opposed to becoming a more humane society? And if yes, why?

    Most potently, why does it make me or any other woman like me “westernized” to think that partnership bodes equality, not ownership.


  2. wizzy July 7, 2011 at p07 #

    Diverting from the issue, I would love to know your opinion of why there is recent upsurge about “item numbers” read “item girls” in bollywood movies and TV shows.
    Is it the men in general exploiting the “poor girls in need” or the girls exploiting men?

    Recently DG heard Amir Khan is giving competition to item girls as an item boy in Delhi Belly.

    Now coming to your question Is it the men in general exploiting the “poor girls in need” or the girls exploiting men?
    That is for you to decide. 🙂 DG wonders if these women have even heard the word “healthy self concept” and those male viewers lusting for those up in your face moves ever have a chance beyond redlight areas. Even the excuse that a role demands such portrayal falls short for some of these item numbers.

    It reminds DG of Wahida Rehman’s performance “Paan Khaye Sayian Hamar” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyY4H8EYkvU in Shailender’s “Teesari Kasam” and a performance by Yana Gupta in Dum.
    Hope this answers your question.


  3. wizzy July 7, 2011 at p07 #

    Looking at the list of searched words, one doea notice that “Desi” and “sex” rank quite hig up in the list :)….I had written about some top searched words in the post “Top Searched Words On The Internet” here-


    Interesting to note that sex, penis, dog, pussy, etc figure higher than Jesus…. the list doesn’t even list the name of any other God….

    No wonder different people have different Gods 😦 but DG do not want them to make a shrine at GGTS. 🙂
    Will check your post in leisure.

    Desi Girl


  4. Indian Homemaker July 6, 2011 at p07 #

    // It is interesting to note when men define woman, women and femininity be it erotic poets of middle ages or Vātsyāyan penning Kamasutra all becomes classical literature where as if women define themselves their needs and sexuality they become whores, a threat to social order and literature. //

    Never noticed this till now, but it’s true.

    It shouldn’t be surprising; defining the “other” is a part of objectification. Women, minorities and oppressed are treated as objects to be defined and villified if they define themselves.


    • Atheist Indian April 22, 2012 at p04 #

      On that context, goddess worship is also a form of oppression. Whenever the discussion of how women are treated in India, a commong quip it, “Women are revered as goddesses in our country, what more do you want?”

      When it is not that women are reverred as goddesses, but women are expected to subscribe to the superhuman standards of goddresses. It is like expecting a Harish Chandra of every man, which ultimately is oppressive.

      A similar form of oppression is preached in Islam as well. For example, Ayesha and Fatima were held up as model women, but read their biographies and it isn’t difficult to figure out just how oppressed and resentful they were, under Muhammad’s dominion. But again, classic Islam never taught people to criticise their religion or introspect deep into people’s state of mind in literature.


  5. The Wizardspost January 9, 2011 at p01 #

    Although I generally would like to agree with your points but I feel these views are at least 30 years behind time.
    Things ARE changing, women are more assertive, men more sharing and society more open.
    And when it comes to controlling women, It has always been another woman who tries more to control ( in form of mother, mother in law, sister in law, etc etc ).
    In a skewed manner, I would even go to the extent of saying that when it comes to neighbors, it is the neighbors wife or the mother who would keeps an eye on what a girl is doing, or who comes to drop, or what she is wearing!

    Wao, DG always felt ancient in 2010 but now it is 2011 it still holds true. So what information is 30 year old in this post. DG clearly mentioned it was just one good week in 2010 when Desi Sex was high on search engines. The esteemed Vice Chancellor of Mahatma Gandhi International Hindi University (MGIHU), Vibhuti Narain Rai in Sept 2010 called women writers comepting to be called the ace tramp. Is that 30 year old information? 🙂

    Oh, about your second point women controlling other women where did it come in this post? More men are controlled by other men be it at work, public places, politics, terrorism or in personal lives- father/brother equation, more men imposing their standards of masculinity on other men. Still women are being branded enemies of women. Here is a link to @IHM’s post remember there are two links that will bring you too GGTS to seek an explanation why women control other women. 🙂


  6. Sensible December 17, 2010 at p12 #

    Lady DG,

    You are already being anonymous in this blog. Then why having ‘comment moderation’? Are you not interested in people leaving their own opinions without your assent? If you have fear about spams, you should have your captcha activated.

    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
    If you have read GGTS, then you might be aware that Desi Girl is tech challenged. She just follows the default settings, so expecting anything more than that won’t make it happen.
    About people coming and ranting or spilling their dirt like the search engine terms she had mentioned in the post is not acceptable to her. People are most welcome to leave their comments unless those commments do not jeopardize the safe space status of GGTS.

    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Desi Girl


  7. Sensible December 17, 2010 at p12 #

    well well.. now that you have posted it, you have got a valid post that talks about ‘desi sex’.


  8. restless September 20, 2010 at p09 #

    Well, true, when a woman talks of sexuality, it becomes filthy or sometimes is taken as a spicy dish. As if there can be nothing serious about it.

    The search result shows, how people perceive the writings or blogs which talks openly about the serious issues of a relationship between a man and a woman.

    Desi girl, don’t bother about this stuff, it will always be there. You write such informative stuff, with so much effort. I think more and more young people should read it.

    Take Care!



  9. Cilla September 17, 2010 at p09 #

    This reminds me of the one time my blog piece wqas called Virginity and Ambition (it was my reaction to a film poster that said ambitious girl always loses virginity, may answer to that the unambitious one gets married earlier and loses it sooner 😉 ) Anyways since that day I have been spammed by Chinese magic pill sellers who comment on every blog post of mine. Its only after I used google translator did I understand these were popular search terms in Mandarin. But why Mandarin attack me for God’s sake. It took me a while to correlate it to that particular piece.

    Interesting isn’t it. Internet is really interesting place. Spams and bots do write interesting comments in all languages 🙂


  10. Bikram September 15, 2010 at p09 #

    How do you check this search engine thing, I shud check it out myself .. how people come to mine .. hmmm weird i must say but I like the question you asked .. waiting for the answer from someone …

    WordPress has a function on the blog stats page that shows where the trafic came from, what search engine terms were used and where trafic is going. I am not aware about blogspot. I am sure it will have something similar.


  11. Anjaan Rahgir September 14, 2010 at p09 #

    always used to see ur G Buzz discussions with yayaver. today finally I came to ur blog. found funny, thought provoking and interesting as well as relevant. Would love to come often to ur blog.

    And yeah I love one thing, you know what…?

    i.e. Peace
    Desi Girl

    spreading peace…

    anjaan rahgir

    @anjaan rahgir,
    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
    You can join DG on G Buzz 🙂 .
    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Desi Girl


    • Anjaan Rahgir September 14, 2010 at p09 #

      ‘ve already joined u in G buzz…
      ‘ll share the message of hope…

      anjaan rahgir
      (borrowed from you)


  12. Travelbug September 13, 2010 at p09 #

    Desi Girl,
    I saw this on NBC the other day about how this educated college professor had his black daughter in law killed for shame.
    Considering his sons look black, and he is considered “colored” It is the weirdest and crulest form of racism I have seen. Which brings me the the question again, how racists are indians? and what is this obessesion with getting married “in the community”?

    Yeh, that is old news now. 🙂 In the blog world we have spilled enough ink on that particular news item. It is too sad but that is the reality. Desis are as racist as any other community. The fear of white slavery is still real for many people, southern states are still the same. Mexicans, Asians and middle easterns don’t want to have marital relations with African Americans so what is the big deal with desis? Marrying within community is a way of ensuring genetic and cultural exclusivity.
    One Obama in the White House does not change race equation in this great country.

    For more details about desi racism in interpersonal relationships refer themilkychai’s blog http://themilkychailife.blogspot.com/

    Desi Girl


  13. Travelbug September 13, 2010 at p09 #

    on a side note, what is desi river bath? No wait..dont tell me.I dont even want to know..Peace

    Dunno 🙂 HA HA


    • Indian Homemaker July 6, 2011 at p07 #

      I think Desi river bath is a Bollywood scene, where a village gori (girl) is going to fill water, wash clothes and bathe in the village river, and like in Sangam, the hero is singing ‘Bol Radha bol Sangam hoga ke naheen?”


  14. Travelbug September 13, 2010 at p09 #

    Oh Bother..LOL….This sounds like Indian men are so repressed.
    I was intrigued by the stories of your indian mother in laws.
    It was an interesting and eye opening read and a reminder to self as to what not to do to smother my little toddler as he grows.
    This weekend I was badgered by questions as to what was I?
    an indian american? a cathlolic or a muslim? born to a muslim mother and a catholic father, married to a white american and I happen to be asked the most personal questions by desis, very offensive and annoying.
    Everyone from my garage attendent had a claim as to what I should be.
    Garage attendent tells me “you are a good person, you should think about becoming muslim”. Really? I hate any kind of bible/book thunping on my face..really, Religion is a very personal issue and is when I am having my next child etc..Desis should have a course on social etiquette, because obvioulsy education doesnt translate into social sensibilties.
    While my husband was spared the questions due to him being american I had a hard time dodging questions as to “how much I made” how long I was married and why I had my son so late, to what not..I guess being brown skinned meant, it was open season on me? WTF?
    sigh!! atleast the food was great..

    Welcome to GGTS, a safe sapce.
    Yes, that is how desis are and Sr. D asks me why I don’t ask someone from my church to help me move. 🙂 Is she kidding 🙂 …

    “…This sounds like Indian men are so repressed.”
    Desi masculinities are no different than other parts of the world but here additional baggage of wanting to be something else (read white) works double time 🙂 . The other part is to the equation is the “othering” anyone that is different be it minorities or women.

    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.
    Desi Girl


  15. Shail Raghuvanshi September 13, 2010 at p09 #

    Dear V,

    You are a class apart so don’t you bother about all these….. It is a pitiful and depressing fact but what to do? The mentality is such.

    You just carry on with the wonderful work that you are doing.

    Best Always,

    Thank you.


  16. anjugandhi September 11, 2010 at p09 #

    don’t just let the perverts disturb u.
    you have your own fan following and people like me who are addicted to your blog will read it any ways
    and talking about all those spam msges. can you imagine even i get them despite of the fact that mine is such a plain, simple blog

    Thank you for your kind words and support. The bothersome thing is objectification of women. The anonymity of internet has made this even worse. Don’t see an end to this depravity. Did you read that last link VC calling women writers prostitutes?


  17. Milky Chai September 11, 2010 at p09 #

    Oh wow. How very disturbing. What was your reaction when you pulled this information? I’m looking at this and thinking that at least 90% of the searches are from people (probably men) looking for porn on the internet. And “desi sex”? Wow, people are very specific in what they want to see I guess.

    The last sentence in your blog before the search engine terms is a very interesting and important point. For probably thousands of years men and women’s sexuality has been viewed unequally. Men can be as promiscuous as they want and thats looked upon as their right of passage to being a man. Women are viewed simply as mothers and caregivers and any sexual freedom is considered a defilement. Not sure the world will ever change on that issue.


    Long time. How are you?
    The initial reaction was OMG, all the hard work gone to dogs. Yes, it is search for desi porn, I guess it is men coz’ as mentioned no search terms like desi men sex, desi sex man.com etc 🙂 .

    Did you follow the last link the VC (president) of a university calling women writers prostitutes. http://www.indianexpress.com/news/women-hindi-writers-vying-to-be-seen-as-prostitutes-vc/654432/1
    So now you can imagine how soon things will change at this pace. 🙂

    Love to princess,


  18. Jubeee September 11, 2010 at p09 #

    I’ve been getting search hits from indian guy and white girl and free indian pron lately…

    Welcome to GGTS, a safe sapce.
    Isn’t it strange how people looking for porn end up at our blogs. 🙂 Even this post was more about the social discomfort of defining one’s own body and sexuality but none has hit on the link for Lawrence’s documentary http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/my-penis-and-everyone-elses/ .

    On that terms GGTS I guess does disappoint these seekers. 🙂

    Did you try that green smoothie?
    Desi Girl


    • Jubeee September 11, 2010 at p09 #

      I did, I added some mint to it to, very delicious. I also found some amazing uses for raw kale…


  19. yayaver September 11, 2010 at p09 #

    Atleast people seeking for knowledge on sex will read something good. 🙂

    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
    By looking at the search engine terms Desi Girl assumes it is not the knowledge of sex they are seeking but voyeurism rather scoptophilia they are suffering from.
    Thanks for considering GGTS as something good 🙂 .
    Please share this message of hope with anyone who may benefit.

    Desi Girl


    • yayaver September 11, 2010 at p09 #

      A lone and loser has only bitterness in the world of love. That is why, I don’t dwell at such happy places. Ciao…

      Oh come on. A software professional can never be a loser. He can always write a new program 🙂 . Also he can never be lone coz’ there is high demand in the groom mandi . 🙂 Just teasing.
      Places are not happy we make them happy with our disposition.
      Sending you joy and peace,


      • yayaver September 11, 2010 at p09 #

        I am amid so much of confusion that can’t be put up here. Contact me personally if wanna hear and solve my problems.. Thanks for sending joy and peace to me DG.


    • Indian Homemaker July 6, 2011 at p07 #

      DG I agree with Yayaver, some of them might stop out of curiosity and might read this blog. I hope they do.


  20. namit September 11, 2010 at p09 #

    wow…hey do add the place from where most people had viewed or searched for the blog, if its kinda possible…and d most weird was “desi river bath”..

    What do you mean by “place from where most people had viewed or searched for the blog…” Yeh there are really weird terms and phrases people are looking up on the net. Anonymity of internet is doing away with all forms of inhibitions but is also becoming dangerous.


  21. chatroulettegirl September 11, 2010 at p09 #

    Thanks for your advice…Hopefully you could get more results.

    Welcome to GGTS, a safe space.
    What advice are you talking about? There was none in the post. More results about what? Stop spaming and promoting trash.

    Deswi Girl


  22. Tbg September 11, 2010 at p09 #

    Maybe I should check my search engine words too. 😛


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A Desi Girl's Guide to Relationship Survival

Own your relationships. Don't let them own you.

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