HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Hope readers are doing good and are steady on their new year resolutions. People make it up to 21 Jan, 2011 then you are all set to win it. It takes three weeks/twenty one days to build a habit and 40 days to cement it. Good Luck.
Yes, Desi Girl did write a new year wish for GGTS but thought following is more important for now.
When a woman reports abuse people rush to judge to their best abilities. Some are genuinely interested to help her others are also genuinely interested to help the relationship (even if she wants it or not that is another story).
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how is it possible, she is lying, she is so vocal and smart how could it happen to her;
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she brought it on herself, he is a reasonable guy;
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we need to know his side of story too;
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if she is so troubled in that marriage why doesn’t she leave, she is educated, has a job and no children.
The list is unending, every one has an opinion just because it is a woman’s life. It is a woman’s life so everyone is entitled to an opinion whether they know her or not is impertinent. No matter how much information we put out about the nature of abuse and how it works some people will keep asking the same questions and judging the abused. Last year DG had the opportunity to meet Naomi Ackerman. She performed her famous monologue “Flowers Aren’t Enough.” This monologue was also staged in India few years back. It is a powerful presentation. DG highly recommends readers to share it with friends and families.
Peace,
Desi Girl
Flowers Aren\’t Enough 1 of 3
loved your new header ..:)
Thanks for sharing the video. I can relate to the feelings one has to go through during such experiences. Glad, she stepped out and is successful in her life. I just hope more and more women get the strength to stand up for themselves against abusive relationships especially in India.
Your going to my feed right away
trupz
desi Girl
Very depressing…
I still feel, there are lot many good men out there, who have been brought up the right way.
I remember when I was a kid(about 13 yrs old), i slapped my sister during a scuffle, my mom came and she didnt hit me, but told me why its important to respect a woman no matter what happens. Infact No-body has the right to physically abuse anybody. Over the years she made me understand “…when you respect woman, the world respects you”.
Its a shame, its all in the up-bringing of the kids, these important social pointers are crucial for a civilized society!
Absolutely brilliant post DG. Loved the videos – a lot more readers should be watching these videos.
I agree with you, “Abuse is a planned and systematic errosion of self esteem and isolation of the abused. To able to combat we all need to know how abuse operates.”
Let me share this post on Buzz, Tweet and on my blog.
Even if you hear the abuser’s side of the story, he or she will deny or minimize. I agree with Desi girl. There is no excuse for abuse, and the so-called “cause” of the abuse lies within the perpetrator. The victim doesn’t cause anything.
I agree with you.There is no ‘other side’ to abuse – violence and abuse can not be justified with excuses like ‘the other side of the story’.
hmmmm but its always wise to know both sides story
Y do you always have to go on one tangent.. Its just not slapping-punching and sending a person to hospital.. There a lot of ISSUES otherwise tooo, the idea is to have a bigger picture and deal with it as a whole if you start looking at one aspect things WILL NEVER CHANGE
and Its amazing to know the full story of how it reached that level of slapping – punching… It easier ot get the person who hit and put him/her away But that doesnot solve the problem .. one needs to find that CAUSE..
no matter what you do if the root cause is not dealt with THINGS Will happen again maybe with somebody else …
DG : thanks for sharing these ..they cover a host of topics that you have many dealt with in your posts.
How Victim is made to feel special and then ridiculed, how small habits are changed on the name of love and she is also made to believe that she is happy changing because of this eternal love.
Marriage and the importance of getting married to the Right person takes centre stage and you keep on ignoring facts , yelling , abuses are all initial sign of physical abuse. But who can see beyond flowers at that point.
And once you are into the cycle, abuse just become more and more and you feel trapped .there is no way out .you don’t know where to seek help, you are afraid of unseen consequences That’s how it is..
First take away all your options and make you dependent and then once all doors are shut you are left to be treated the way they deem fit. We need strong support system and to talk about the issues. As she mentioned, what is not talked about does not happen..we have to talk and spread the word and form channels so that victims can find a way out .it needs a lot of courage to walk out of such relationships as there are frequent promises and half hearted –sorry sessions along with flowers to keep the victim hoping and making her stay .
I am going to share it with all my friends …